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County Wedding Magazines have arranged special promotions for all of our titles in over 550 Branches of Martin and McColl newsagents. |
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Sue Roberts
Qualified cognitive hypnotherapist and life coach.
For more information visit www.freedomfinders.co.uk or call 01628 669 475 |
Sue Roberts answers all your Hypnotherapy related questions |
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Family stresses and strains
Q. My parents divorced a few years ago. My mum is insisting that my dad's girlfriend, who used to be her hairdresser, doesn't come to my wedding in the summer as she feels betrayed by both of them. I just want to share a wonderful day with my whole family. What can you suggest?
A. Sue Roberts says: Your mum's feelings are understandable, but it is your day. In my opinion, marriage is a step to maturity and that includes learning to be assertive in what you want. Sit down with your mum and explain that this is a good time for her to let go of the past, and that this could be a new beginning for both of you.
Also tell her how things will be on the big day itself. You could come to a compromise by organising a rather informal reception, where guests spend time chatting and mingling. This way, the two women can stay out of each other's way if necessary. You could also appoint a neutral relative to keep an eye on things for you, so you can just relax and enjoy the day. |
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Fear of flying
Q. My fiancé and I are spending our honeymoon in the Caribbean and I'm very excited about it. The problem is, I'm scared of flying. I want to have a great honeymoon and I'm really determined to get over this phobia, particularly as it's a long-haul flight. What can I do?
A. Sue Roberts says: A fear of flying is very common, and is quite often rooted in another phobia, such as fear of dying, confined spaces or lack of control. Any one of these can trigger panic in certain situations such as, in your case, flying.
Bach Flower Remedies (www.bachcentre.com), which are available from health shops, can be useful for mild fear. You can also try a technique called Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT), an emotional version of acupuncture that involves tapping the body's meridian points with the fingertips to deal with emotional issues. In your case, gently tap the bone under the eye with your finger the moment you start to feel panicky. |
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Staying on budget
Q. My fiancé and I have saved hard for our wedding for the last five years. We've finally decided on what we want and have set a budget, but I?m really having trouble resisting the extras being offered by the venue, the florist and the dress shop. I want the perfect wedding, but I fear going over budget and getting into debt. How do I resist the temptation?
A. Sue Roberts says: Every bride wants the very best for her wedding, and after five years of waiting it's normal to want everything to be perfect. Saying 'no' to people who are trained to sell can be difficult.
Imagine the day after your wedding and look back on what was really important. Then assess your budget and decide what you'd like to spend more on, and what you could cut back on. Alter your budget accordingly, while keeping the final cost the same. Say no to extras with confidence and know that you already have everything to make your day perfect.
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Mum's Decision?
Q. I'm 20 and still living with my parents. I'm getting married late next year, and my mum is insisting that I have a big white fairytale gown with a long train, but it's just not me. I want something elegant, simple and modern, perhaps in god, but she won't hear of it. In face, she's not listening to me at all. As she is paying, I feel trapped. How am I going to cope when we get to the shops?
A. Sue Roberts says: The wedding may be triggering off your mum's fear that you are growing up. You need to decide what the real issue is: a clash of taste, or your mum wanting to control your decisions, liek she did when you were a child.
If it's a style issue, get help from the boutique. Contact the assistants beforehand and explain the situation - they will be used to dealing with mums. If it's more about control, then this does need sorting out, so that you and your fiance get the best start in your married life.
Use the dress as an example of how being a married woman is about making your own decisions. Book a relaxing day out with your mum and spend time talking about how much you love her.Tell her that while you may not need her for day-to-day decisions when you start your life as a married woman, you will always want her support. Explain how grateful you are that she is there to help, andhow important it is that you work together to find new ways of staying close. If this isn't an option, then seek help from somebody your mum listens to. |
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Cold feet
Q. I'm having last minute doubts about my wedding. It was great to get engaged, but now it's happening, at 25 years of age, and I feel I'm too young to settle down. What should I do?
A. Sue Roberts says: Last minute doubts are very common. Having them is like a message
from your mind, which is telling you that you are making a big commitment. It
wants you to do the right thing.
To help get things into perspective, imagine going out to the end of your long and fulfilled life and having lived the life you would most want to. Then look back to the present and imagine all the choices you made leading to that happy you in old age. Feel what the right choice is for you, and think about what you would like to see yourself doing now, if you could look back. Usually, last minute doubts are just nerves. They?ll soon pass so you can enjoy your day and wonderful companionship in the years ahead. |
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Good feelings
Q. I'm really looking forward to my wedding, but am feeling very nervous about the whole thing. Sometimes I feel sick at the thought of all those people looking at me walking down the aisle and terrified that I might trip over my dress. Can you suggest ways to help me relax?
A. Sue Roberts says: This is normal if you are not used to big events - even actors get nervous. Find time to sit in a warm, calm place and imagine your wedding. Visualise the whole day from start to finish - with you smiling, looking confident, and all going well.
Keep your body language positive, with your shoulders back and your chin up. Focus on good feelings, and be aware as to where you feel them inside you. Practise this regularly. On the day, the moment you get up, do one final practice. Then find those feelins of confidence, make them bigger, brighter, stronger, and imagine them locked inside you all day. Walk down the aisle with your shoulders back, chin up and smiling. |
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